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i wonder if this blog will improve or worsen when i go back on medication.

urghh! i don't like that word. smacks of people with real problems and/or people who think it sounds groovy!

i sometimes think that it would be better if i were manic or just plain crackers, at least there's someting more than a slight chemical imbalance that f...s up your day. but then again i don't really.
i would like to feel better, permanently.

after a couple of years reading up on it it's obvious that i have tourette's syndrome and ADD, the strange thing is that the concentration problems developed in my late teens not as a child, i have too many of the symptoms of TS for it to be anything else. i even had about half of an extensive tic list, which is a real pisser.
the hard thing is getting diagnosed which i have to do to put my mind at rest. i sort of hope i've got it! it'll put a name and a reason to 30 years of suffering and embarassment. more importantly though i NEED to know, there is a 50% chance that TS sufferers will pass on the syndrome to their children. i pray to the great gods of valhalla that this doesn't happen, but if it does i don't want the boys to go through what i did as a child, when no one could explain what was wrong with me. not that there's anything to be done, but understanding and support is important.
bloody hell! what a miserable posting... scroll down and look at tha pink jeans. i think the benetton design team are a band of very digruntled employees or there is some major betting going on.