Monday, May 30, 2005

phone pictures

some more pics from the memory card of my phone.
i really must get a hobby.


the last days of bar vittoria (as we know it)


great bar, ask for a bite to eat and the barmaid gives you a knife...

venice to mestre, midnight one friday. venti ombre dopo!

sitting in the fridge and other desires

gripple me nadgers, it's hot today. actually it was hot today, now it's night. it's still hot though. the curse of the sunkissed house. actually it's more like sun-snogged against its will and reluctantly accepting a bit of a feel.

it's too hot to work, and nobody can deny me that excuse. i had the brilliant idea of getting a bit of a skive this morning by taking class four up to the computers, for a bit of internet based research on light and sound.
so up we go, switch on the 11 terminals and find it difficult to see the screens after half an hour for the rivulets of sweat trickling down our brows and into our eyes.
11monitors, 12 kids, roof space room, 30 odd degrees outside, 90% humidity.
..if bains were dynamite i fear i may not have enough to blow me hat off!

a nicely chilled pinot grigio accompanies the home made foccaccia (cheese, garlic and pepper) and salad. don't know whether to drink the win, or tip it over my head.
perhaps i'll just drink it and hold the bottle near my temple for a brief moment.

Saturday, May 28, 2005

being glum makes you blind

when i look down, especially on a hot day

my glasses fall off.


in the back of a cupboard a man with a drawn on cardboard face and a hat of bamboo cane.

tea beer or not tea beer

cheese on toast (imported extra mature cheddar, oh what a luxury!)
pecorino with chillis
and a bit of asiago fresco

and a couple of splugens! fear not dear reader for it is not an austrian soft drink but a beer of dubious quality.
well perhaps more than a couple...

but bland maaan, blaaaand!


last night my surrogate 'niece' gave me a present.
a 6 canvass work, in cruciform showing the sign of the cross, bt in reverse.
luckily i was baptised c of e, am a non believer and most definitely not catholic. there one thinks, dear reader that my chances of excommunication are slim.

perhaps an exorcism may be of some use.

or electro-shock therapy.

or a simple lobotomy...

but not for me though but! oh no dear reader, read dearer, mandrake, goose and/or liver paté.
did he get the right accent there one wonders, won oneders? what accent should it have been typed in six fiveders?
my surrogate niece, who i love dearly is the very talented jelena arsenic. who should be famous just for the name!

Friday, May 27, 2005

high moose cheque my spell in

I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.
I really must learn to remember to check my spelling.


Thursday, May 26, 2005

sad professor's dinner

toasted multigrain bread (sliced from a packet mind you)
scamorza affumicata
and a rather impertinent vipra rossa, a merlot and sangiovese mix from umbria. dry yet full, makes straight for the temples in the way usually only its southern and sicilian cousins do.

not bad for a cheese sandwich, eh?

hard to do this tonight, very busy day - i have more staff off (family reasons - i hope all turns out well for my colleague whose father is ill, i really do. couldn't give a sh-t about work under these circumstances), umbrian plonk impersonating meridionale falling down water, and a massive mosquito who just refuses to leave.

i should be a fucking catholic me, i feel so guilty if i kill a mozzie i actually apologise....

... or should that be a fake buddhist...

or just an english person?

i'm terribly sorry old chap, i fear that i may well just have to jolly well kill you.
more tea major?


ai milanisti!

you're not singing,
you're not singing,
you're not singing anymore!
you're not singing

well done liverpool!

vaffancu berlusca!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

the windowed secretary..(a song)

window secretary
telephone ordeal
a letter about change
to all

a candlewick's moaning
about teeth cleaning
a battalion of ingrates
picking at your nerves

can we put a window in?
to let the prisoner see the gate

can we put a window in?
as the feedback would be great

a good day in the forest
a bad head on the bus
a rose coloured pheasant

a million stupid questions
plus a hundredweight of fuss
makes for diry tables
and no line.

ab 24/V/05

the tune's better than the words though!


honeyed pork chops in the fluxlist server

honeyed pork chops with lightly curried stir-fried vegtables! delicious and even better as i didn't have to cook! downside was the beer, peroni.
WHAT? i hear you gasp, you have something against italy's premium beer??

no,dear reader, no indeed. i have nothing against that birra bionda, especially when one finds it at 50c a can at the local supermarket. nothing at all, save for the fact that there was but one solitary tin in the old electric refrigerating machine!


anyway, what fettle? bugger all of late one is afraid to say. work is the usual, home is the unusual (they're crawling! may the gods help us all!) and all is chaos at the FLUXLISTAdmin Centre. 'twould appear that fluxlist has been temporarily banned from the server providing the admin services so i can't subscribe anyone or rectify problems....


always makes me smirk that word...

anywayhowroad dear reader, i did try to tell you that nothing had happened and still you chose to read on...

my apologies

hi ate us her knee aarggh!

well then!
here we are again, finally i have found time to log in and realise that i have in fact nowt to say, nowt of any interest anyway.
busy week, had 'grandad' and 'great nana' here - good stuff, nice to have the company and the help. got the chance to go to venice for a trip around all the 'baccari' and osterie, me, 'grandad' and a couple of the lads. much wine was drunk, drank and drinked, polpettas, baby octopus, sardines of all sizes and recipes, artichoke hearts, baccala' and prawns eaten, eated and ate. 'sbeen a long time since i've had the time to get to venice for a night out. lad, did we make up for it.

pity i can't remember what we ate that well and the range of wines was broad and cheap!

dinner tonight was left over
the beauty of the alhambra is extraordinary, the exquisite tilework, its playful use of water and light...)
chicken chasseur, washed down with an obstinate little merlot, which i fear i am having to attempt to wash down with the old stravecchio branca.

it's mind boggling to contemplate what the loss of spain meant to islam.

i went to school with islam, i didn't even know he owned spain! he didn't even collect 'soccer stars'! newcastle was dead solid to complete.

got, got, got, got, got, got, need, got, got, got, got, need,got, got, neeeeed.
ah gan on man swapsies! two asa hartfords for tommy craig!

apparently god is light.what like miller?

did you hear about the dyslexic, agnostic, imsomniac?
he lay awakew all night wondering if there really was a dog!

boom boom.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

blog off

bah! rats! phooey!
i have been too busy to write anything here for a goodly while, work babies and other family members etc.

maybe toworrow....

Sunday, May 15, 2005

intended tattoo. wonder if i'll ever get around to it..

long live the packet mix

tonight we had moroccan style chicken thanks to a packet mix imported from the uk and garlic and stracchino focaccia. which is a particularly unusual menu - 'dinner alla fridge'!

tony "are there any rules?"
vicar "yes, anywhere as long as it's not on consecrated ground."

with a rather pleasant merlot.
two large gold watches have inhibited further keyboard/digit interraction
and if you only knew just how long it took to write that!

Saturday, May 14, 2005

aw shucks!

i have been touched and, i must admit, somewhat surprised by the fact that people have actually been reading this blog.
the mind bloggles.
and\ they even leave comments!

thanks ML/AR/DB

high spirits and other things...

well then, i went to the doctor this morning and it turns out that amongst other things i've got high blood pressure. but surely not! i am waaayyyy too young for that sort of thing.
hmmm, 'twould appear not. anyway it explains a lot and means that at least i don't have asthma.

°°°75% of young italians who are involved in serious road accidents have parents who have caused or been involved in serious road accidents.°°°

anyway, i no longer smoke, don't use salt and rarely use it to season, my beer intake is minimum (wine and whisky is another matter though but), i'm careful around fatty foods (they can ruin your shirt), don't own a butter dish and use only extra virgin olive oil (which is lovely but very hard to get the top off!)

what the hell do i give up? STRESS!? oh yes please, get me away from that school and those bloody stupid parents. mass hysteria (appropriate one supposes for a catholic country) abounds! children are falling over in the playground and parents are threatening lawsuits! unbe-effing-lievable!!!! they are getting out of control here, but that's perhaps another blog. what people tend to forget is that; state school is obligatory, our private school is not. parents choose to send their children to us (thank goodness!) however, just as they have the right and opportunity to request enrolment with us, we have the right to say no and to send kids packing if they don't tow the line.
me, i'd keep the kids and expel the parents! especialy those who send their kids to our english primary and middle school (in italy), with its british educational philosopy and methodology and then demand we change our programmes, curriculum and teaching methods because it's different to what they did 30 years ago in the italian state system and anyway they don't speak/understand english so can't follow what their child is doing in class.

°°°here take my car signora.°°°


Friday, May 13, 2005


i wonder if this blog will improve or worsen when i go back on medication.

urghh! i don't like that word. smacks of people with real problems and/or people who think it sounds groovy!

i sometimes think that it would be better if i were manic or just plain crackers, at least there's someting more than a slight chemical imbalance that f...s up your day. but then again i don't really.
i would like to feel better, permanently.

after a couple of years reading up on it it's obvious that i have tourette's syndrome and ADD, the strange thing is that the concentration problems developed in my late teens not as a child, i have too many of the symptoms of TS for it to be anything else. i even had about half of an extensive tic list, which is a real pisser.
the hard thing is getting diagnosed which i have to do to put my mind at rest. i sort of hope i've got it! it'll put a name and a reason to 30 years of suffering and embarassment. more importantly though i NEED to know, there is a 50% chance that TS sufferers will pass on the syndrome to their children. i pray to the great gods of valhalla that this doesn't happen, but if it does i don't want the boys to go through what i did as a child, when no one could explain what was wrong with me. not that there's anything to be done, but understanding and support is important.
bloody hell! what a miserable posting... scroll down and look at tha pink jeans. i think the benetton design team are a band of very digruntled employees or there is some major betting going on.

buongiorno dottore...

where will i begin?

the family crest of my mam's, mam's family. colquhoun. my mam is quite chuffed about the whole clan thing and i can understand that, you can trace your name back to a definite place (including in time). she has discovered little about our colquhoun ancestors, BUT dear reader she has discovered that we are descended from isaac tucker of isaac tocker and sons, brewers!! the brewery was down gateshead and at one time was quite a big affair eventually bought out by courage or whitbread, iìm not sure which. see it's in my blood! i found an old tucker's brewery bottle on a stall in durham market once, it felt strange finding a piece of my family's distant past......

Thursday, May 12, 2005

random pics

sitting trying to take my mind of the fact that i have to be at the doctors at 8a.m. tomorrow, and that i've got so much to sort out that i'm going to have to write a list, i decided to go through the memory card on my mobile phone. there were many photos dear reader. these are some of them. there are some good ones but they've got j & d on them and i don't really want to post them.


perhaps this is upside down?

ah! the cause and the cure of many a bad head

he got those, "sitting on an uncomfortable plastic chair dressed as spiderman playing an unamplified acoustic guitar whilst his classmates from the music school shout along to a badly set up midi keyboard on a freezing sunday morning in the piazza outside the church whilst every one else he knows is way across the other side of the street, and that includes his grandparents, drinking mulled wine" blues

still waiting for that cavallino piu aglio (horse salami, horse 'bresaola, horse 'prosciutto' and garlic. quite possibly the best pizza i've ever eaten. i tell them that on a regular basis.....

and they give me free beer!

that is gooood!


pizzeria al cavalino


filthy robber, why does she never change her socks?

filthy robbers!

two of mestre's finest on the spritz-razzle

piazza ferretto, mestre

mam, sick of my 25 year black phase.....

wolf's spritz/olive crash injury

when you've really got nothing better to do, go to work on a sunday ansd get sunburned painting hopscotch on the garden.

dinner time in the bowman household

Wednesday, May 11, 2005


this is ridiculous! i am sick of this ....... depression. it just sucks the life out of you through your chest whilst mashing your brain. i'm going to bed.

as if anyone would be remotely interested

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


why do we pronounce discount, 'discount' and viscount 'viscount'?
i think we should make the different pronunciation of the 'ough' sound in english interchangeable
normally plough = plow, cough = coff, dough = doe and rough = ruff etc. but what if it wasn't obligatory?

try explaining 'hurry up and slow down!' to italian 9 year olds.
or 'you need to start stopping that now'

we pluff the fields and scatter.......
i'd like to sign a bit more but i'm afraid i have an irritating, chesty cow which prevents me from doing so.

Monday, May 09, 2005

escitalopram/vat 69

hit by a train of thought
i carry on rewardless
i wonder why the webdings don't work



i hate it when i get like this.

i can't concentrate
i can't think straight
i can't get myself to do anything
i can't stop thinking about the fact that
i can't concentrate
i can't think straight
i can't get myself to do anything and
i can't stop thinking about the fact.

it's like all my thoughts are playing on a screen somewhere behind my eyes, but that each thought and idea, thing to do or whatever is split into frames. each thought is being played in random sequence, but only a maximum of 5 frames of each runs. the whole thing becomes a rapid sequence of unconnected images. the soundtrack is composed of all the 'aural' thought processes trying to make themselves at the same time, regardless of the image playing.
what makes it even better is that every so often a word gets 'stuck' and repeats itself at varying speeds and levels of volume.
v olume
v o lume
v o l ume
v o l u me
v o l u m e
v o l u me
v o l ume
v o lume
v olume
v olume
v o lume
v o l ume
v o l u me
v o l u m e
v o l u me
v o l ume
v o lume
v olume

now it's taking a whole range of movements to get back to typing this.

GRRR!the chocolate on the tv in brasil is invading. pasta, cioccolato, fondente, ugo non lo mangia. these fuckwits are actually discussing when they are allowed to eat the chocolate and nutella. average age 46 and they're planning penne al pomodoro for breakfast, after which they will be allowed to eat a bit of chocolate, mind you, thay have decided to keep ugo's share only for when everyone has eaten theirs. ugo doesn't eat chocolate.

ugo doesn't actually do that much.

a bit like me really.

Sunday, May 08, 2005




tocai friulano.

tonight i cooked 'stinco di maiale', which is basically a pig's shin and very, very cheap. all fat and bone but very cheap!
that's not strictly true, there was quite a lot of meat accompanting the fat and bone and it did go with the wine.

and it's got a great name...stinco!

"what's for dinner dear?"

but wait!
it gets better...

... if you have two you are cooking stinchi, pronounced 'stinky'

"what's for dinner dear?"
"what!? you've cooked the henderson's cat?"
"well i caught him in the rose beds again"

anyway, we had the henderson's cat with shallots,
(Shallots are often thought to be another variety of onion, but they are actually a species of their own. They grow in clusters, where separate bulbs are attached at the base and by loose skins. The shallot has a tapered shape and a fine-textured, coppery skin, which differentiates it from onions. Shallots were first introduced to Europeans during the 12th Century. Crusaders brought them home as “valuable treasure” from the ancient Palestinian city of Ascalon.
Shallots Shallots have a mild taste that combines the flavor of a sweet onion with a touch of garlic. just in case you were wondering)
garlic and a touch of tocai. i would have liked to have added a drop of brandy, but i drank it all writing two lines about altered images. oh and roasted potatoes, peas and beans.
it's mother's day here and you'd think that i've had done all of this as a gift from the boy's to their mammy, but oh no dear reader! oh no!

we always eat like this.

all, some or none of this may or may not be true.

Saturday, May 07, 2005


joseph and daniel have nearly grown out of their ramones t-shirts! stil haven't found any einsturzende neubauten shirts their size.
i wonder if they'll rebel. play chris de burgh at full blast when i'm trying to read the sunday papers to killing joke.

oH GOD! what if they're religious?? or have a joint passion for trains and trigonometry???


i've been listening to altered images before blacking out the past few nights.
i used to have a thing for clare grogan. i don't anymore, i gave it to someone else who appreciated it for a while.

and then threw it away.

also been listening to echo & the bunnymen, dead kennedys, crass and stiff little fingers, and realising that it's a bit like me dad when he used to listen to the jazz and big band stuff from his youth. i wonder if my sons will take the piss out of me and then end up really liking the same stuff.


it would appear that i have an allergy! after 38 apparently allergy free years it would appear that i have hayfever or something of that ilk.

aah the fresh mestre air, the petrochemical plant at marghera, the toxin riddled marshlands, the daily, gridlocked traffic system! i've never had an allergy before, at least not one i've known about (except one to the the thought of work, tend to bring me out in bouts of panic, swiftly followed by crippling apathy). now my eyes itch, my nose runs,my throat burns and i'm not best pleased about it.

it has to be the pollution. at 8 months joseph has bronchitis and a high fever, daniel a permanent cough and nic and i assorted 'respitory' allergy symptoms.
you know here people cry foul at the fact that the government is enforcing alternative number plate days in major cities and car-free sundays, as the car is seen as some sort of divine right, or so it would seem. with the car comes the right to park on the pavement and block pedestrian right of way, to turn left across 4 lanes of fast moving traffic to park in that reserved for disabled drivers space that some idiot has left free, to mount the pavement and force people with pushchairs into the hedge rather than wait for the car in front to move forward as the lights change, and to floor the accelerator and swerve violently so as to get passed the hapless fool who is crossing the road on the pedestrian crossing with the green man illuminated.

having your backside and your flies brushed by speeding wing mirrors is something else, believe me.

but don't try it.

ack, ack,aaaaaacckkk, ptoooeyyyy!

ahem, that would seem to be the last of that up then.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Deja vu event for Fluxlist

i walked down the road,
i walked across the piazza,
i hopped on a bus when perhaps it would have been advisable to get on and travel in a more conventional manner, it being rush hour and all that.
i jumped off the bus, much to the surprise of the old lady who was gingerly stepping off in front of me.
"how can you step of gingerly with grey?" hair i asked politely,
"o santo cielo, lasciarmi stare o me ciamo e carabinier! ti ga capio baordo??" she replied somewhat less politely.
i dashed across the road dodging fiats, something twanged and i hobbled along the path to nichelino.
i wolfed down a chocolate brioche, sipped a cappucino and smiled sheepishly as i paid andrea with shrapnel.
andrea politely pointed out that as from tomorrow he would be happier if i paid with money.
i trudged back across the road and traipsed along the path on the other side, skulking into work i slinked past the office, deftly avoiding irate parents and disgruntled colleagues. slipping downstairs i made a mental note not to wear skis to work again and went into my office. shrugging of my coat and inhaling deeply i prepared for class five maths.
i ran up the stairs almost as quickly as my nose which this year appears to be suffering from a smog and pollen allergy.
i walked into class.
after 5 minutes i ran out of patience.

now i find myself running out of ideas....

posted today on Fluxlist as part of a Writing Action Event instruction posted by Allan Revich (I think!)

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

bah! rats! phooey!

i'm torn.
i'm torn between the desire to write something in this blog and the desire not to simply write for the sake of it.

i'm sick.
i'm sick of having ideas and then being unable to get any further than that!
i'm sick of not have the time.
i'm sick of getting so far through a list of things i'm sick of and then losing my thread, rendering the whole thing, well, pointless really.

that's all part of it really, an inability to concentrate because your head is too full, your thoughts flow like a film in which every three frames the scene changes.
the television is driving me crazy, it is too invasive when i'm like this. i'm not watching it but the sound gets in and mixes everytjing up.

malbech (marca trevigiana) tonight. very nice, it was on offer and is really rather good for little more than €3. a local vinyard, just up the road in treviso. the old main road to treviso, the terraglio, runs past the school.

i've lost the want to go to treviso. the boys were born there in the special babycare unit at the hospital. i was in the middle of the road a good 10 minutes run from there when nic phoned to tell me they were taking her in for the op.
it was about 40 degrees and 90% humidity outside. i made puddles in the waiting room whilst two tiny bowmans were brought into the world.

andiamo in spiagga con frisbee! god that tv is invasive!

i hope it doesn't rain tomorrow, i have to paint another hopscotch.

i'm sick of never been able to actually remember just what i have done all day and what it is i have to remember and what it is i wanted to write about!


there is no need to say more tonight!

if only it were that easy

"look under the bottle top!" said the barman

but the gorilla didn't understand.

(surely the falling over should have stopped by now, it doesn't normally last this long. perhaps being depressed is actually easier on the knees than not being...)

Monday, May 02, 2005

sleepless babies and a cheeky li'l pinot grigio..

actually i lied about the pinot grigio, it's not really that cheeky at all more sort of washed out and lethargic. shame really, should have stuck to the cabernet franc (which is also a nickname of mine - frank cabernet), unfortunately i drank all the cabernet whilst making dinner. filleted chicken breast, rolled and stuffed with prosciutto crudo with a garlic butter baste and roasted on sliced salame. the salame idea was an experiment...we are out of olive oil and i thought the salame would give a bit of flavour and stop the chicken sticking.

i was right!

right now we are trying to get joseph (one of our 8 month old twins) to go to bed - he however seems intent on watching 'minority report', reckons that tom cruise is better in italian. might have a point there.

joseph likes neko case and mercury rev at the moment, daniel is more into stiff little fingers and a bit of jah wobble, not a bad start.

all, some or none of this is true.

i reckon i'm having a bit of a crisis at the moment. i'll be 40 next year, that in its self doesn't really bother me, it's looking to the past and the future that does! the intended content of a future ramble. for now my back and knees hurt too much, from spending yesterday afternoon under the blazing sun, painting hopscotch on the schoolyard. oh what a life i lead - from working/performing with assorted fluxus peoples to hopscotch and lower back pain.

ooh! this blog lark's a bit strange, i feel a bit inhibited....hmm not as easy as all that especially when yer tourettes and ad/hd kicks in (i don't have the hyperactivity bit, but the attention deficit bit,ooooh yes!). i'm a bit miffed really as the TSA haven't witten back yet.
and you lose your thread.

apparently italian parents feed their babies with metal spoons to break the gums to allow the teeth to come though.

well it seems as if joseph has become bored with the film. oh no! it's daniel who's up and screaming now..quick nanny! the brandyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

Sunday, May 01, 2005

erm..hello...testing, testing, a one, two, albero...

Well then here we are, a special place where i can ramble away to my heart's content safe in the knowledge that i'll probably be the only one who ever reads this stuff.

i hope to use this blog as a place to record all that stuff that i never get to put in my notebook as i can never actually find it and that i can update from the laptop in the living room, on the balcony, in the airport, doctor's waithing room etc.

if you do find this page have a look at

get an idea of what crap you can expect to find here.