Misc Mix from the Archives

Some miscellany from the FFFO Archives

The Unexpected Guests at the Physics Party
Magnetic Anomalies

Magnetic Anomalies (in-situ)

Untitled

Ay-O's Glue

Orsini Pattern (Sweet Music)

An experimental work in progress. Beeswax, herbs, spices, chinese rock sugar, food colouring, paper, pen and ink on canvas.

Orsini Pattern (Olfactory)

The 'Orsini Pattern' project is an ever expanding (well...) collection of drawings, texts, music scores, sound pieces, piano music, objects, diagrams and more, based on a fragment of industrial embroidering machine pattern from the factories of Sig. Giovanni Orsini near Milan.

This piece consists of old newsprint soaked in Origano, Rosemary, Sage, Imla, Nutmeg, Paprika, Anise, Turmeric, Thyme and Eucalyptus solutions.

Thirteen Hours

This is film I found on an old disk. The piece "Thirteen Hours" is from around 1997/8 if memory serves. It is a text record of an attempted private performance. The text became a book (dimensions; L19cm x H 1.5cm, black card cover, spine bound in string). I think I only ever made two, one for Jean Sellem and I have no idea what happened to the other!

TTLF Edit

Allan Revich's "Tripping the Lights Fantastic" Film from when we met in Venice.
http://fluxlist.blogspot.com/2008/04/tripping-lights-fantastic.html

This is a rough edit, work in progress and all that you know....

TCHNDNC

More of the same old same old, but this time in cartoon form!!

Frank Fumbles by Firelight

"Frank Fumbles by Firelight" is a simple improvisation by those members of Udon Noodles whowhere still awake after Gigi and Francesca's spontaneous barbecue. Actually, being an entirely vegetarian band it was incredible that any of them where still standing after an afternoon of asparagus and cognac!
Anyway, "Frank Fumbles by Firelight" is a doodle, it's not supposed to be a film but we found that by running the mp3 through Movie Maker and adding a title we could post music to blogger. Somehow though, we kind of like the idea of the whole film just being the credits.

Here it is, sweeter than Una Stubbs in a candy floss bikini:

& Iris Danced for Roland in Roland's Moment of Revelation

"& Iris Danced for Roland in Roland's Moment of Revelation" features the UDON NOODLES track "Throbone Two" which will also be available soon on either of the planned Udon Noodles albums;
"Chamberpot Music" or "Lunatic Fringe Benefits", probably the latter - but we can't decide!

Iris Gets a Migraine

Video by Bowman, Music by Udon Noodles.
The track "Throbone" will be available soon on either of the planned Udon Noodles albums;
"Chamberpot Music" or "Lunatic Fringe Benefits", probably the latter - but we can't decide!

air

Frank Cabernet plays the air...

A.M.D.

Frank Cabernet gets dressed and triggers the accompanying sounds.

Orsini Pattern (Poem)

This Poem is part of the ongoing "Orsini Pattern" project. "Orsini Pattern" is a collection of drawings, poems, music and performance scores and audio-visual work, based on a fragment of industrial embroidering machine pattern from the factories of Sig. Giovanni Orsini. The pattern fragment was originally 'donated' to the FFFO by Alison Knowles during her stay here in Venice in 2006. The pattern was also used as a template for Alison's piece at Giovanni Orsini's Villa Butafava. Just in case you were wondering!

f.f.f.o. elettrocardiogramma

Small version of the digital video "F.F.F.O Elettrocardiogramma".
The images are of a scan of my e.c.g. results, the sound was produced using image to sound software (vOIce [?]). So the sound is actually made by the images.
The original is is of a much higher resolution, this version is the result of an experiment with video conversion software - I couldn't find the original avi so I ripped this from the FFFO Lo-Tec Films DVD and tried to make it web-friendly, not sure that worked!

friday interference

A brief audio-visual collaboration between Bowman/The FFFO and Udon Noodles.

Allan Revich in a Red Circle

Original video by Nicolas Carras: http://www.nicolasound.com/allan.html

Allan Revich plays his harmonica
The Freeformfreakout Organisation monkey around with it.

Well, well, well...

...you can tell
that I
had











nothing better







to do






this evening....

Reflection (laguna 2008)

Reflection (laguna 2008)

Reflection

Hummus or houmus
Humerous
Until the bill for the toothpaste

I reckon that his essence is directly linked to her ability to wear shocking pink whilst making coffee. I'm not so sure about where the chilli peppers fit into it all though.

Saturday Night in Mestre

On Saturday Night in Mestre:

Signora Rosa intends to sing Zingara for us
Should we turn the lights out?
Lazio 1 Inter 1 News Just in.
"Prendi questa mano Zingara"

Shall we start again from the top?
"Prendi questa mano Zingara"
Takethis hand gypsy
I am not afraid

And the orchestra cannot play for laughing
And the people rattle pots and pans
How? How?
I don't want to salute him
I just want him to know I'm here.

Then the gangster smoked cigars

Found Under the Bed 22, 23 & 24

"Surface Music Events, Scores", acrylic, guache, crayon on newsprint, date long forgotten

Found Under the Bed 21

"Chart of the Lost ViaLorenzago Archipelago", Drawing, date unknown

Found Under the Bed 19 & 20

"Table Surface Scores, L & R", 1997/8 (?)

Found Under the Bed 18

"Whizz, Bang, Crackle, Pop! The Moleculare Structure of Chinese New Year as seen by Europeans", drawing, date unknown

Found Under the Bed 17

"The Genetic Design of Boredom, Speeded Up a Bit", drawing, date unknown

Found Under the Bed 16

"Simple Plans for a Stained Glass Universe", drawing, date unknown

Found Under the Bed 15

"Impossible Machine", etching, 1997(?)

Found Under the Bed 13 & 14

"Surface Music Scores"

Found Under the Bed 12

"Alan Bowman's Friedfrozenboiledblahblahblah.....for the Venice Biennale", wasn't used....

Found Under the Bed 11

"Philip Corner went to Hospital", 2002

Found Under the Bed 10

Self Portrait (unfinished, 2002(?))

Found Under the Bed 8 & 9

"Oh Crumbs!"

Found Under the Bed 6 & 7

The Untied Kingdom

Found Under the Bed 4 & 5

Collage (!), date unknown

Found Under the Bed 2 & 3

Water Music Event Scores, 2003

Found Under the Bed 1

Surface Music Event Score, date unknown

Akron/Family Angels of Light

Akron/Family Angels of Light

we are at the moment stunned by the Akron/Family Angels of Light record (Available at http://www.younggodrecords.com/product.asp?P_ID=42 )

It's one of the best things we've heard for ages. We are also looking forward to the imminent arrival of the Fire on Fire EP, also from Young God Records.

Long Live Michael Gira and All Who Sail in Him!

Currently listening : Akron/Family & Angels of Light By Akron Release date: By 08 November, 2005

Aiya!

Just burnt my tongue testing tonight's ribollita.
It's taken so bloody long to cook I am no longer hungry, having eaten all the bread I was supposed to toast to put in it!

teevee

Just watched 30 seconds of Gigi d'Alessio cutting bread.

Seemed like MUCH longer!

Gigi d'Alessio come up as incorrect in the spellcheck too, as does spellcheck. Spell check, it would seem, is better. Alternatives for Gigi d'Alessio are Gigi passionless, Gigs Recessional, Gig Expressionless and Gigi depression.

Decide for yourself : http://www.gigidalessio.com/

OK MICHAEL LEIGH on SEA!!

Michael, you is probably right. So I have decided to keep this blog open. (Oh, the word blog comes up as incorrect/unknown on y browser's spellcheck..)

No doubt that not a lot will occur, but anything I post on the other one I should post here too.
'Tis neater here.

UDON NOODLES

Seeing as this blog has not been updated for yonks, we thunk it was time to so.
BUT! having so little to say it only seems wise to try to do just that!

So

Most of any potential input to this blog has bee moved to the UDON NOODLES page
http://www.myspace.com/udonnoodleincident

WHO??

Formed in 2007 by surviving members of The Malicious Brothers, ZweiKaiserBund, Lovely Daze and Bowman, Udon Noodles is the Experimental side project of Udon-Noodle Death the infamous anglo-italian psychedelic-c&w duo.



YEAH BUT WHO??

Udon Noodles are (all songs/instruments etc:) Anna Wombal; L. Mow-Banana; Boomerang; Frank Cabernet; Pietro Kimiko; with regular guest on Tibetan Singing Bowls: A Bowman

http://www.myspace.com/udonnoodleincident

OH!

Come on over and check it out, you be sorry you did!

:-)

I am not dead

at least i don't think i am.

perhaps i just look it

Brigata Cianci / giving the Ultras a bad name

VeneziaMestre's least ultra ultras!

sitting in the office, thinking...

....

nope that's not working.

here in venice trying to get more hits for www.emilyharveyfoundation.org.
coming soon, Berty Skuber, Philip Corner and later on Ay-O - see the newsletter for details.

oh well, back to work....

ho-hum

Alan Bowman Performance Texts

http://www.lulu.com/content/648185

Alan Bowman: Performance Texts 1998 – 2004 With additional texts from 2005 – 2006 Surviving performance/event scores produced by Alan Bowman/The Freeformfreakout Organisation in the period 1998 to 2004 with an addendum of alterations and additions to texts and additional texts from 2005/2006.

A Biography of Sol Nte

http://www.lulu.com/content/650143

Born in 1873 to a family of immigrant Danish pastry farmers and the youngest of 11 siblings, expelled from the Robert Downey Junior School in Elton John's Wood,star of the Barber Surgeon's Hall dissection table and serious threat to the Turin Shroud, Sol Nte is quite possibly the world’s greatest living anagram of a waterway.

mump

We is concerned here in the Waugh/Bowman household for Nic fears she may have the 'Mump'. Not the mumps as suffered by many a poor child but the 'Mump'. For she has the soreness on but one side.

Those of us amongst the staff who have consulted the medical dictionary, when we recovered from the shock of the 'Mucus' pages are of the combined and informed opinion that she has a touch of the old sore throat.

The Hooligans were at home again today, Daniel with the fevers and Joseph with the raging snotters, both exhausted were also suffering from the 'getting up at six o'clock in the morning and jumping up and down on mammy and daddy's bed syndrome' i.e. a black humour, lack of appetite and the like.

I lost yet another day's work.

kids eh? can't live with 'em

can you?

;-)

new fluxus

Warning! The following has a boring factor rating of 110/100. Probably better if you just look for the link it talks about!

Being an admirer of and interested in Fluxus, in fact having got to know and even work with some of the artists involved, I kind of keep half an eye on what is going on. A member of Fluxlist since 1998 (now NeoFluxlist on Yahoo as our host server seems to have packed up its trouble in its old kit bag and buggered off), I have had the fortune to witness the antics of quiet a few Fluxus inspired contemporary artists.

One of the arguments or questions that often arises is 'just how do we define Fluxus?' both historical and contemporary and so far no one seems to have come up with an answer which suits all, probably for the best. This question often leads to heavy and dour discussions and diatribes over 'who is in the gang? who can be? what is/was the gang in the first place?' And while this is all very good and academic and stuff it often omits to include the humour Fluxus, which although may not actually be that relevant to the argument but is important to me! :-)

I have noticed a distinct lack of fun in a lot of contemporary Fluxus inspired works, lots of 'research' and experiment which I am very interested in. Allen Bukoff (allenbukoff.com) is a contemporary Fluxus inspired artist (despite shunning the whole scene, well for a brief period anyway ;-) ), whose works involve a great deal of wry humour and whose 'research' pieces may appear somewhat tongue in cheek but on closer inspection/reflection are a whole lot deeper. Inspired.

There are of course many contemporary Fluxus inspired artists who have a fantastic sense of humour, but which choose not to express this in their work.

Recently however I came across a site which really did make me laugh, it's not particulary Fluxus it's basically just a send up or a parody of some Fluxus artists. I suppose it's not really all that good but it really hit a spot.
Yogi Fu Maciunas' "Flux-Mess" a parody of the Flux Mass is quite near the mark and Henry Flinch's "An Essay on Exceptual Art" is rather naughty. I spent a good few weeks with Henry once, I don't suppose he'd appreciate the joke.

the site is at fluxuswaste.blogspot.com/ there's not a lot there but i'm kind of hoping that more stuff will turn up.


and i'm not completely convinced that allen bukoff is not involved...

?

well then not a lot to report of late. all been a bit dull really.

venezia did win on sunday though, 5-0 against pro patria! who?
exactly!
but they were 4 good goals and a penalty, pretty exciting stuff really. almost got my voice back.
had a horrible cold
but it's gone.

almost finished the biography of Sol Nte, Stoke on Trent's startlingly trousered troubadour then i'm going to send a copy to Roger Stevens and Michael Leigh for editing.

as they have absolutely nothing better to do! (check their blogs!)

tra.....

The Reversal of the Ex-Communication of Lord Listamovimenti Byron

the following is an extract from a document (as yet undated) found in the freeformfreakout organisation archives. unfortunately we have been unable to upload the images as our scanner is goosed. it appears to be an illustrated field report from a dig in the venetian lagoon - the following is what appears to be some background information which may shed some light on the actual finds:

The Reversal of the Ex-Communication of Lord Listamovimenti Byron
(The Impostor or Fake)
Archaeological Find from Saint Julian’s Isle

There is a legend which tells of a tale which relates the story of an enormous and preposterously opulent feast. A huge banquet, outrageous in both size, cost and the amount of quail used instead of hotdogs with the cheese and pineapple cocktail stick nibbles. The banquet is said to have taken place in Venice at the beginning of the height of the might of the Most Serene Republic, and is said to have involved so many guests that no calle or campo in Venice, not even Piazza San Marco was big enough to seat them all.

The banquet was in honour of the Reversal of the Ex-Communication of the Fake Lord Byron by Pope Gregory the Furred. Byron was originally ex-communicated for his blasphemous poetry, most notably the sonnet “Oh, So Called All-Seeing, All Knowing, All powerful One! If You’re so Great then Come On Have a Go! I Challenge You to a Yorkshire Shin-Kicking Competition, If You Can Find Me that is!”

Byron renounced his poem as an “Ill-informed and misguided work of nonsense by an ignorant and silly fool who had certainly seen the errors of his ways and who had every intention of returning to The Flock ay ess ay pee!” Byron had spent a god month or two in hospital after being found unconscious in an upturned beer barrel with severely bruised shins and a size thirteen Walkley’s ‘Foundryman’ Safety Clog miraculously wedged in a place which would ensure his avoidance of horseriding, cribbage and other sitting down based activities (like sitting down) for a goodly while.

So large indeed was the table required for the feast that a special pontoon bridge, funded by a special Black Jack Night at the Garibaldi Working Mens’ Club, had to be constructed out into the lagoon, stretching from Santa Croce almost to Punto San Giuliano or St. Julian’s Fiat.

Archaeological evidence leads us to believe that Pope Gregory, Henry Tudor, Lord Byron and in fact Marco Polo where sitting at the San Giuliano end and not at the ‘Venice’ end as previously thought. One theory being that the smell and noise from the bus station could have potentially triggered one of Pope Gregory’s migraines and therefore the potential flaying alive of any guest who was perhaps a little heavy handed with his spoon during the soup course. Doge Enrico Dandolo is thought to hat been sat at about one kilometre from the ‘Venice’ end, however a large margin of error must be considered probable to allow for the tide.

Giacomo Casanova, King Louis XIV of France, Quentin Crisp, Mary Magdalene and Martin Luther are thought to have occupied the foot of the table, the Santa Croce, or ‘Venice’ end. Studies of fossilised footprints found under platform three of the station point top the fact that a “right old time” was had by all in that particular company. Close scrutiny of the footprints show that apparently Casanova and Crisp coped considerably better when dancing in heels that King Louis or Mary Magdalene. Martin Luther, sat at that end for obvious reasons. (He still had a bag of nails from the Vatican True Relics of the Cross workshops that the Pope had lent him, unaware of what he wanted them for.) It is also interesting to note that Luther, although barefoot, appears to have danced a mean Tarantella.

Pope Simon, responsible for Byron’s ex-communication was not present on the count of the fact that;
a.) he wasn’t really all that popular in the Byron camp;
b.) the presence of two popes at the same dinner table may have been deemed as somewhat of a bad show, raising doubts over Papal Succession laws but not only that, questions would have bee asked about the economic and environmental issues linked to the creation of all that black and then white smoke, the endless lunches for the cardinals and the traditional end of election disco. The ‘two for the price of a nun’ drinks promotions were said to be responsible for a whole host of things, allegedly including two or three ‘immaculate conceptions’, still kept from the general Hail Mary paying public by Papal Dictate. Pope Simon’s election is purportedly the result of the fact that Cardinals Point and Synne used the white smoke producing wood to stoke up the Vatican oven just as someone else was asking whether “anyone fancied a beer while we look at the menu?”
c.) he’d been dead for 501 years, killed by divine intervention and a miraculous 6 dart finish.

Perhaps one of the most interesting facts about the archaeological finds is the fact that they were uncovered on an island which, if the truth be known, simply could not have existed at the time of the banquet. Standard and accepted previous archaeological finds point to the fact that the island was constructed by the Austrians at the time of their occupation of northern Italy and the construction of the rail bridge which still connect Europe to Venice. It just doesn’t point to where.

Excavations are expected to continue for as long as the wine lasts.

bleeargghh!

oh well it looks like it's that time of year again, all consuming apathy and inability to do anything creeps in.

at least i've got the football now, a season ticket for venezia - pride of serie c1!
yesterday we were away to cittadella and it was the worst game so far. BUT lunch was good, we found a trattoria near castelfranco veneto which specialised in grilling things on a huge fire in the middle of the restaurant. it was cheap and i ate too much and drank too much wine but the the ultra' were on form and the singing and insult hurling kept me awake.

today i'm just miserable

bleeeaarrgh!

forza ragazzi!

Well what's new?
NOWT!!

Got a season ticket for SSC Venezia, stars of Serie C1, actually I got it as a present for my birthday. €55.00 with a free hat and flag! That's like one ticket for Newcastle if you can find one! It's a good laugh the match here though, I went to one once a while back, where the ball went over the stands and into the lagoon. The pre-match warm up is good too:
Spritz in Bar Vittoria here in Mestre then on the bus (or motorbikes) to Venice, down to the fist bar on the Strada Nuova for a seafood risotto, a polpetta/piece of squid/prawn skewer and some cheap red plonk....and so begins the tour of the bacari (little bars) until we get to Rialto, then a few bits and pieces "alla botte" (a bar with excellent polpette) then off down to near St Mark's Square aqnd the pile onto the vaporetto to Sant' Elena where the stadium is.
Stadium is used in the loosest possible way, pile of planks on scaffolding is nearer to the truth.
Then a quick drinky and off into 'la curva sud' - home of the various Ultras factions, most of whom spend most of the time smoking dope and trying to get everyone else to sing instead of watching the match. According to my scarf I am allied to the Rude Fans, so I'd better watch where I stand. Rude Fans! We stick our tongues out at the opposition and never say pardon me when we burp....

Tomorrow it's Venezia vs Pistoiese

pics from venezia - padova (boo!)

a pea bird ear to me

happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me-eeeee
happy birthday to me

40 today :-|

the rotten buggers at work put balloons up on the front door so now all the kids and parents know. stil my little lot in class 5 brought in some cakes and pop so we had a party instead of maths.

which is only right i would say!

you can take a horse to water but a pencil must be lead

tenpastoneant2bottlesl8r

oooh, are they anchovy fillets i spy in that jar?

isn' tit fun ny what misu seoft he spac eb arc ando.

me seat ali aarrrggh"

it's a friday night and we've been watching 'miss italia' for what seems like three days now. sylvester stallone is the guest of honour and he looks like he is melting. it's been on since tea-time and now it's 23:50 and the poor bugger's been there with his translator the whole time, money for old rope her job mind you - "amo gli animali" - 'i love animals'; "voglio lavorare con bambini" - 'i want to work with children'; "volevo sposarmi con un giocatore della juve ma sono nella seria b adesso, quindi ho cambiato idea...ma vieri e' ancora single?" - 'i love animals'. only 3 phrases to translate.
hang on! hang on! all the lasses who've been elimated so far (24,376) are line dancing to a c&w remix\of "staying alive" - oh how i love italy!!!

well, i'm supposed to be working on the biography of stoke's greatest living anagram of a body of water but i've just been a bit distracted.
kind of hammered a bottle of valpolicella (zonin) - a cheap but pretty damn fine slurp from the coop, one of my favourites at the moment at about 4 euro it tastes much more expensive. at the moment i am supping a sangiovese di romagna, superiore, from the terre cevico stable. it too is a damn fine plonk and was in fact surprisingly strong enough of flavour to frollow the valpolicella. must dash, they're going to choose the winner of miss italia - oh the politically incorrectness of it all, the bikinis, the sheer fabric of the 'evening wear' - i reckon they put the air-conditioning on for two specific reasons.....
nope, wrong it was just an advert break.

been listening to a lot of ska recently, stuff from the late 70's early 80's, especially the selecter and the specials and earlier stuff like the skatalites and the old trojan record stable lot. 'train to skaville' by the ethiopians is getting worn out here followed by the same song done live by the selecter, in fact my new lose the belly regime seems to consist of moonstomping and skanking around the house whilst tidying up, doing the ironing and the like. building those shelves today wasn't easy mind and i had to put a bit of willard grant conspiracy on to ease the sweating. oh! and "it mek" by desmond\dekker is pretty good to peel potatoes to as well.

they made stallone act out the "adrienne!!" scene from rocky with one of the contestants - she was better than him!

Eggbert Spoonbender.

Eggbert Spoonbender,
King of Teeth.
His interchangeable knee-boots
Made of jelied beef,
With his gargling chicken shirt
And fried egg mobile phone,
He's coming to a street near you.
Make sure your not at home.


Written as an example to Class 5 when they wher Class 4.

back, front and sideways from the jollydaze

well dear reader,

the summer holiday is almost over and it's nearly time to go back to the grind. i've been off work since the end of june and i'm having difficulty remembering just what my job is! "but what has he been up to all that time?" i hear you say , followed by "my god his hearing's good!" then "and his imagination" then "hang on, i didn't think that!" and then "..or that! but my word i have in fact just thought all of that, and as i read i find that i am in fact thinking exactly what is written upon the screen. uncanny! the lad must have someof the magick powers about him, a touch of the ol' aleister crowley, or perhaps even the great doris 'i have a john coming through, is there a john in the hall' stokes."
and all of that is true.
interesting though, isn't it? how you never hear from doris stokes any more now that she's dead. you would have thought there would have been no stopping her popping across to fill us in on the goings on in limbo. (just try and explain that grammar to an italian doctor who insists on knowing the correct names for the grammatical elements before even trying to understand what is actually being said.) that part in brackets is of course optional.
so what have i been up to then? you know i have no idea! went to gateshead, home of the now defunct Isaac Tucker &Sons brewery. Isaac was me mam's great, great granda or something. in gateshead i met the startlingly trousered concrete poet of the potteries - monsieur sol nte. amazingly flexible for someone made of concrete i thought.

best thing i've seen in years - a very polite, if not a little timid too, gallery assistant at the BALTIC centre for contemporary arts (gateshead) trying to ram a motorcycle crash helmet onto sol's be-dreadlocked bonce and them him taking off slowly and unsteadily to do three laps of the gallery space on a tiny, mini-motorbike. i think i actually guffawed, and i thought that only victorian gentlemen did that.

what else? shaved all my hair off, drank a lot of whisky, got conjunctavitis, bought an new shirt, some new dr martens and some braces a shed load of cds and a computer game. yes a game! was sick of doing little and worrying about the fact that i thought that i'd might as well doing nothing constructively and in a way that the act of doing nothing and wasting my time actually took my mind off the fact that i was in fact doing nothing and wasting my time.

been listening to a lot of old ska from the 60's and the late 70's - i'd forgotten just how much i really like it and that to has helped take my mind off the fact that i have reached a bit of a sticky bit in the biopgraphy of sol nte (which is brilliant in parts!) in fact here are the last lines:

“And the others we make by carefully cutting out pictures from the Weekly Kebab and Curry Courier and making colour photocopies of them.”

see what i mean? well perhaps not. but i haven't written anything for weeks, i keep having ideas but never get around to fleshing them out. i'm on page 50 (A5 pages) and intend to send the whole thing to roger stevens for editing. seeing as how all he does is shuffle around in his BHS plaid slippers, sucking on a clay pipe, reciting humorous verse and rushing to do the vacuuming and wash the dishes before Jill gets in from work i reckon he'd be perfect. i suppose i should ask him first though....naaaaa! (hello roger !)

"...Ken’s wife Phyllis as she looked up to see a large woolly devotional candle which seemed to be trying to steal a falafel, encouraged by a priest; another scream from Sol as he realised that that stray spark theory has in fact a solid foundation; another scream from Phyllis as she realised that that wasn’t a falafel...

I'm having trouble keeping him out of prison.

I did spent nigh on 2 months working with Alison Knowles which was wonderful, but i've written about that...Oh i spent some time with mark bloch recently, we had an amble around venice together - very nice chappie. but what else? spent a lot of time playing with the hooligans who turned 2 on the 13th august. they had a great time in england. CARPETS! they have no fear and like jumping off high things.
well the hangover is hanging on...
over and out of it


"“What the hell am I going to do with a shiny lasagne?” he asked Hector Singh, head chef. Singh wasn’t really Hector’s surname, it was Sows but he thought that Singh sounded better, considering."

and then the enquiry came and suddenly i had him back...

hippo birdie

aha! i am still here, just completely lacking in time and energy to write anything.
today was the boys' birthday, two years old already!
has anyone seen 'the wiggles'? what is THAT all about!?

did you have full consent to keep samples from ......?
of course, i checked with the solicitor.
you do realise the damage these cases can cause!
hello silvia.
i'm sorry its, what would you do.
i'd wait.

A Rake's Progress

Tonight we open the show Alison Knowles: Time Samples.

We'll be performing too.

It's all been a bit full on but it's come together nicely - it's a very beautiful and striking show, which I won't even try to explain or describe. Perhaps one day when I have time to breathe (and and ADSL line) I'll post some pics.

Our time together in Venice is drawing to a close, it has been wonderful. I'm not sure what I'm going to do now, I mean I'll have free time!

Spoil the boys, have a kip, finish the biography of Sol Nte what I am writing. I founf it the other night, and do you know, in parts it's actually quite good.
A bit like Sol really!

An Excerpt:


“Good afternoon sir!” said a thick set barman
sporting a thick set handlebar moustache,
corduroy car-coat, well oiled pedal-pushers and
a pair of ice skates.
“Good afternoon bar-keep!” said Sol, who’d
never seen a handlebar moustache before, well
not one with bell and dynamo lamp anyway.
“How can I help you?” asked the barman.
“I wonder if you can help me” asked Sol, “I am a
little lost, I am tired an hungry and would like to
rest a while. Perhaps I may take advantage of
the warmth of your hearth and if you have a
menu I’d be most pleased to peruse it.”
“You look tired and hungry my friend” offered
the barman, “And if I am not mistaken have the
look of a man lost, tired and hungry. Sit you
down, rest you, take advantage of our hearth,
perhaps you would like to take a gander at the
menu whilst you warm yourself.”
He led Sol to an armchair by the fire. Sol settled
his arm into the chair and waited as the barman
pulled up another armchair, a footstool, and a
headboard. Sol settled himself and sat on the
floor.
“You make yourself comfortable whilst you look
at the menu,” said the barman, “I have other
customers to attend to.”
“I see that you have other customers to attend to,”
said Sol. “I’ll just make myself comfortable and
look at the menu while I wait. Oh and by the
way, it would appear that your skates are
melting.”
Sol had the strangest feeling that the barman was
not only mumbling but in fact talking backwards
as he had not understood a word he had said.
Reaching into his travelling bag Sol pulled out his
reading monocle and looked at the menu. Turning
the menu the right way up he polished his monocle
on his shirt tail, making it completely unusable,
(seeing this however the barman did sneak up
and cut a small portion of Sol’s shirt tail off and
made his way quietly to the ‘Specials’ board,
where he added a new soup.) and was still
unable to read it. Squinting at the menu until his
good eye watered Sol simply could not make
head nor tail of what was written.
“This appears to be written in what I can only
assume to be ‘foreign’.” he thought. “Perhaps I am
near the docks.”

The onion skin song and other such things

it's been a very hectic few weeks dear reader, very hectic indeed. the end of the academic year brings exam preparation, reports, a monstrous cold-sore and a very surreal happening.
over the past couple of weeks i have been working, as normal, at work. teaching the children of class 4 and shouting maths at class 5 whilst eating cinnamon beans. after work and at weekends i have been working with alison knowles, helping to prepare for a performance, which will take place this evening at museo fortuny in venice, and setting up her show entitled "Time Pieces" at the Emily Harvey Foundation, again in venice. We also had to put together a prototype of a piece which will adorn a window of the Villa Buttafava, somewhere near Milan. actually alison put it to gether, i glued it down.
all of this has been relatively straightforward, with the exception of bill stone's video, and gone really rather smoothly for venice.
tonight we will perform alison knowles' 'loose pages', 'onion skin song' and 'shoes of your choice', ay-o's "rainbow", and a couple of pieces which slip my mind. a slippery mind is, alas something that i've had to live with since that first pint of scotch. it's all sort of organised to take off at 6.30 gmt+1 of the afternoon clock and will do so in a most spectacular room - an enormous and crumbling sala of a 15th century palazzo. empty apart from a couple of wardrobes and a large filing cabinet, we will perfom in the centre of the space. props are a 1m squared white podium and a microphone, saran wrap, onion skins, two pages of the score of 'the barber of seville', round bean turner, red bean turner, wooden pecking birds and the 'loose pages' portfolio. after there will be wine!

the surreal happening was this however:
i, through one thing and another i was really behind with the school reports for class 4 - and not a little stressed! alison knowles had expressed an interest in coming into school to meet the kids. so i got it arranged and in she came. she talked about beans and books and the kids talked about their experiences with beans and the books they were making and a very interesting session took place. the children were rapt and even began to write haiku about what was going on. i in the meantime was flying around, purple and sweating, trying to get everything ready for 4p.m.
at one point i looked up from the envelopes i was addressing and saw that alison knowles - an artist who i had studied at university, who i'd never even dreamt of meeting was now in my classroom, teaching my class, effectively saving my backside whilst i did all the stuff i should have done at least a week previously!

weird!

Raa!

Alison Knowles

Alison Knowles phoned this evening, to ask me to perform with her in Venice.

That was a surprise.

And qite possible the most interesting thing thats happened around the old FFFO HQ for a looong time.

You can see the medication is doing its job by the sheer dullness of these posts.
I'm not sure how I feel about that! Sometimes I wonder if the sacrifices I make to stay 'balanced' are really worth it - the things I'm unable to do when I feel OK make me feel bad, but the medication stops me from feeling so bad that I can actually produce the stuff I do when I don't feel so good, and sonit goes around.
I bore myself!

late

I found this on me desktop, I obviously finished the wine before getting round to posting....

Busy preparing an asparagus risotto, accompanied by my "Testpiecesymphoney", yes I do spell symphoney like that for a reason. Just opened a 'Trebbiana do Romagna" which was on special - and is, if I may say a rather pleasantly fruity little number. Not actually taht bad considering what I paid for it - the sheer embarrassment of its cheapness prevents me from communicting figures here, but it was stupidly cheap. OK, Ok it's not a wine of any great note, but it's pretty good for €1.70.
Oh dear....

I've also just opened a bottle of "Sangiovese di Romagna". Oh there's a bit of my symphoney that sounds just like Lou Reed's 'street hassle', but slower ande a bit indianish. Anyway the Sangiovese is a little rougher, but still not bad for the pittance I paid.
May the gods bless the Coop and it's special offers for the poor of the parish!

Mind you, all of this follows two pints of beer and two sprizz (White wine, 'Select' - the local, slightly less bitter version of 'Campari' and fizzy water. The local aperativo you can have with Aperol or Campari too.)
So the old neurons in charge of the tasty buddlers may not be in perfect sync.

I may let you know later what the risotto was like. If it is as good as the hummus I made for lunch I'll be happy. But hopefully I won't fall asleep and wake up with a mouth that feels like it's beencarpeted with garlic flavoured felt.

I love asparagus, despite the italian fixation that it makes your pee smell bad. I mean, do we really know anyone whose pee smells good? Yes I know that some of you like these things, but in general......?

The Trip

My goodness it's been a long time dear reader! I simply just have not had the time to write anything here for ages. Actually the fact that I haven't actually done anything anywhere for ages doesn't help either.
A couple of weeks ago I went to the UK, to the Lakeside Y.M.C.A National Centre on Lake Windermere, with 18 kids from the school - age range 10 - 14 years old.

I must be mental!

The place is well groovy, really beautiful, clean, great staff, well organised - but the kids were another kettle of fish - and not just for the smell. For the journey (Venice - Zurich, Zurich - Manchester) my colleague and I kept all the kids' documents, except for when they had to show them to passport control/immigration etc. In Venice airport I found £30 and two passports in Zurich! Luckily the passports had photos and names, everyone denied losing the 30 quid! But, alas I is a honest fellow and persisted - still waiting for a thank you from the bambino who was nearly 50 euros out of pocket. About four minutes after arriving in Manchester I found another couple of documents, one perched neatly on the toilet roll holder in the bogs before passport control. By the time we'd got to the motorway service station for something to eat I'd found two mp3 players. Later in the week I found an iPod, which was in my pocket for a day or two - nobody missed it! I remember losing me 10p dinner money one day at school, I was ill with worry. 10p was quite a lot in 1976 but it was more for the fact that I'd been trusted to look after it and I'd failed.
If you ignore the arrogant and spoilt behaviour, the refusal to listen to instructors carefully, the inability to self-organise (e.g. set an alarm clock - 1 per room of 6 children), and to pick up after themselves, the inability to accept an instruction such as "tidy away the cups please" without questioning it, ...
then it was a good week.
We went canoeing, kayaking, climbing, walking, did some archery, orienteering, went on a boat trip on the lake across to Bowness, did some shopping, ate loads of sweeties, played football, went swimming in the lake (madness!) and completely failed to complete ANY of the teambuilding, initiative tests (that speaks volumes)

....TBC as the lunch bell has just gone

barcelona-milan

damn!
i'd just finished a very good offline entry, ready to cut and paste here, when......

notepad froze! NOTEPAD!!!! i mean that just doesn't happen!

anyway i had writen all about what was happening in te barcelona - milan game, a woman in a black dress, the first mosquito kill of the year and how i was planning to change the spellings of first and least to firts and leats as they seem easier to type.

anyway milan are out of the champions. so hopefully arenal will beat villa real and we'll have a decent final.

pity you can't read the rest of what i'd written, it was really good.

lurgies

spent the past two weeks with the hacking glob expurgers, the explungding lungs and the nostril glueshutters. and just as i thought i'd got rid of them along came the raging dollops, the gut crinkers and the ringstingers from hell. my grips were cribbled and my hrenks nonconflunchulated.

but i lost quite a bit of me belly

THE GREAT MESTRE YOGHURT EXPLOSION OF 2006

Dan looked at Joe, his natural yoghurt and honey, cavalier's moustache glinting in the light of the kitchen lamp. Joe returned the look, a glint and more than just a hint of dairy product in his eye, nose, ears and hair.
"BOB!" they shouted in unison.
"Na na" cried Dan pointing to the devastation which had once been a cheap, but clean and functional worksurface, "Na na, nana naa naaa!"
"BOB!" added Joe launching an 'Anyway Up Cup' with the skill akin to that of a fully paid up member of the Black Block brick Throwers Union.
"BOB!" and away went a spoon.
"NANA!" followed by his sticky sibling's proof of skill with the Surprise Dessert Dish Lob.

And the curtains were pencilled in for an earlier than scheduled wash.

TOMMASO

sunday 9th april


i don't know if this story made the headlines outside of italy but;
yesterday was the live, televised funeral of an 18 month old baby, tommaso. i didn't watch as i simply don't like the organised hysteria, the weeping and wailing and people applauding coffins. i guess that's a cultural thing, i'm from a working class, northern english background, from a very close and loving family but one which perhaps has a different ideas to what i see here in italy. different ideas of respect and the like in the case of a loss, a death, hat is sure. for example - a banal and insignificant thing but interesting to me all the same. a short time ago the grandmother of a very close friend passed away. iwas not particularly close to the 'signora', my partner however was and the old lady was close to my children. anyway nic couldn't make the funeral but i could, so naturally i attended. a catholic mass. i am not religious in any way and have certain issues with the catholic church in particular but that would in no way stop me from attending the funeral, i simply had to, as a mark of respect to the lady and as a gesture of friendship and support to my friends. i went to church in black suit, white shirt, black tie - as is 'tradition' in our part of the world, i couldn't contemplate otherwise.
the interesting things was that everyone else was dreesed very casually, jeans, tee-shirts, leather bomber jackets - comfortable and i suppose practical clothes, the funeral lasts a couple of hours then life returns to normal for most of the attendees. i felt very out of place, i felt 'wrong'. however one of the major comments, apart from the nice service, was about the elegant gentleman in the suit. apparently the family was very moved at the gesture. moved at the very obvious gesture of respect whereas i felt most uncomfortably over dressed, like i'd made a gaffe - but i couldn't contemplate attending dressed otherwise.
cultural differences - my attire was strange to, yet most appreciated by the italians, and was, personally obligatory yet strangely uncomfortable to me. as they say here...."Boh!?"

anyway Tommaso.
tommaso was kidnapped a month ago, a month in which we followed the search for him and his kidnappers daily, only to find out in the end that he'd been clubbed to death hours after the kidnapping, because he was crying! they panicked apparently - poor bastards it must have been a terrible strain... no-one knows the true story, the mafia has been mentioned, the father was involved, the father wasn't involved, the killer's wife was most certainly involved - the mother of a 6 year old with heart problems who is now in the public eye. the italian media are a bunch of hysteria-mongering shits if you ask me. tonights news brought it to our attention that this little boy, if he survives his ailments will be forever branded as his father's son and effecually ostracised by society.
he's six for goodness sake! if we brand him now it's obvious he'll be forever in the shadow of his father's crime. in my opinion we should have been informed of his existence, he's going to live with relatives in sicily where hopefully he'll find love, support and a good home. although according to the news the village where his relatives live is a typical small town where children are held accountable for the rights and wrongs of the family - now they all know he's going there!
according to the journalists of TG5, hopefully he'll eventually be able to move away to a big city where he, with his common surname will be able to blend into the background, become anonymous.
brilliant!
absolutely fucking brilliant!
they could have just respected his right, as a 6 year old, to remain anonymous now instead of planting the seed of potential stupidity into the heads of the potentially stupid - a dangerous mix.

tommaso was 18 months old, my boys are just two months older than him. and i worry, not about them - i simply don't have that panic about the baby system set up in me, ( i watch them like a hawk, but from a safe distance. i worry about their futures, in case they turn out like me. i'll consider it a serious personal failure as a parent if they end up with my fears and nervous problems.) i worry about myself - insomuch as what i feel should be done to the murderers of Tommaso, if it was them of course. there's a gut instinct in me which has gradually emerged over the past few years, which i don't like that much as it often involves making people who commit vile crimes, pay a suitable price. i would quite happily kick the shit out of someone who harmed my family (ANY of my family). I couldn't kill. I know that for sure, or do real physical damage - psychological damage yes however - perhaps i am a real bastard..?
i'm just not as easy going as i was. mind you i used to feel no remorse about flattening someone who pushed me on the dancefloor or joining in a ruck against the wankers who where giving us lip for having long hair. but that all passed, or so i thought.
bah!
another unfinished ramble.
at least i'm consistent eh?

Tommaso, i couldn't read about you in the papers and i couldn't find it in me to watch that much on t.v. but it doesn't mean i don't care.
peace.

ten more wonder(if)s of the world

saturday 8th april, afternoon


i wonder if they'll ever realise that red wine is nearer purple
i wonder if they'll ever realise that red grapes, for the most part, really are purple
i wonder if i've just wasted two 'i wonder ifs'
i wonder if i've just saved my self the bother of having to really wonder if 3 times
i wonder if you bottom really would fall of if you untied your belly button
i wonder if you could exchange 'belly button' for 'a knot in the stomach' - "i was so worried i couldn't eat for the belly button"
i wonder, if i could have made that funnier - why didn't i?
i wonder if the people who say they really care, really do and if the people who say they really don't care, really don't. from experience i don't think so
i wonder if i knew what it was that was eating up and driving me on, whether it would still continue to eat me up and whether i'd let myself be driven on
i wonder i'm just not built for this world i live in. i try. i want to be able to just get on with things, lead a normal, peaceful life, look after my family, do my job as well as i can. but there's just somethings that simply seems out to sabotage everyhing i do - like i said churchill had his black dogs (led zeppelin had one too if i'm not mistaken) - luccky bugger, at least his took on a constant, identifiable form. they are most present at moments of success. and that includes getting the shopping done without major confusion.
and there you go.....it's gone again, the ol' devil caled concentration....

x

the mysteries of non fried maize snack stuffs

saturday 8th april, afternoon

why do they put powdered cheese in fonzies(tm), when there are perfectly good chemicals out there that actually do taste like cheese?

a packet of singing peas perhaps

saturday 8th april, afternoon

well then, just polished off a nice bottle of Corvo - a mid-priced (supermarket) sicilian red. A mix of Nero d'Avola, Nerello Mascalese and Pignatello if my tasty buds do not deceive me, or my eyesight for that matter as i'm trying to read the label through very dirty glasses. when the old blood pressure goes up the old lamp oil goes down it would seem. By Odin's wode clad wooden britches! i've reached an age where one has to remove ones spectacles to read. i live in fear of the arrival of the bifocal. instead i propose that all books be printed bigger, packaged foodstuffs to come with a sound chip (like those awful singing birthday cards) which reads out the ingredients and additives and potential side effects of the comestible under scrutiny and that televisions come with prescription screens.

Transduzionielations

friday 7th april p.m.

been doing some translations for a website on music from the mediaeval/renaissance periods - at least that's what i think it is! my part had nothing to do with the music side, just all terms and conditions, privacy and copyright policies, technical stuff on how to use the site and all that. i just needed MORE work!
on top of the day job i've got two private courses, the biography of the world famous and highly acclaimed deaf kneed lothario and erstwhile stick whittling champion, sol nte. the man who discovered the trick to deciphering the baltic tongue by simply walking backwards, and whose sixty year taxi ride back from red square is stuff of legend, second only to his orange trousers.
then -
i've been trying to sift through the quagmire which is the freeformfreakout organisation archived materials dept. having once missed the 's' off i found my self knee-deep in second-hand military twill and camphor scented taffeta. after a week of intense dressing up i decided to go to the materials archive and dig out the scores which had been requested for inclusion in the Fluxus Performance Workbook.
to be published who knows where and who knows when, if ever - but at least it made me look at some stuff.
HOW MUCH CRAP IS THERE KNOCKING AROUND THE FFFO?
i took a directorial decision not to edit for fear of actually throwing everything out. i did decide however to have the quagmire of an archive dried and turned into rubble, which is bay far easier to sift through. then, i'm supposed to be producing a Historical Atlas of Fluxlist for which I have recieved two pieces, and i think they're about the same person. i haven't finished mine yet either. then there's a major, and top secret, project underway. a collaborative affair with another who has recently been struck down with a touch of glumness and the neuhaus nadger shrinking stresses. then there's the music. i really have to do the acoustic interpretations stuff or i fear i may go crackers. and the electronic stuff needs to be practised and i need to learn more than Dmaj, Dmin, D7 and C on the keyboard. then i've been asked to provide a soundtrack for a short video - which i really want to do - just that when i try and contact the artist, she's not there.

oh, and there's my life as well. one twin has the gurgling hurlies and the other the is in training for the World Wooden Toy Throwing Championships.