Seeing as this blog has not been updated for yonks, we thunk it was time to so.
BUT! having so little to say it only seems wise to try to do just that!
So
Most of any potential input to this blog has bee moved to the UDON NOODLES page
http://www.myspace.com/udonnoodleincident
WHO??
Formed in 2007 by surviving members of The Malicious Brothers, ZweiKaiserBund, Lovely Daze and Bowman, Udon Noodles is the Experimental side project of Udon-Noodle Death the infamous anglo-italian psychedelic-c&w duo.
YEAH BUT WHO??
Udon Noodles are (all songs/instruments etc:) Anna Wombal; L. Mow-Banana; Boomerang; Frank Cabernet; Pietro Kimiko; with regular guest on Tibetan Singing Bowls: A Bowman
http://www.myspace.com/udonnoodleincident
OH!
Come on over and check it out, you be sorry you did!
:-)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
sitting in the office, thinking...
....
nope that's not working.
here in venice trying to get more hits for www.emilyharveyfoundation.org.
coming soon, Berty Skuber, Philip Corner and later on Ay-O - see the newsletter for details.
oh well, back to work....
ho-hum
nope that's not working.
here in venice trying to get more hits for www.emilyharveyfoundation.org.
coming soon, Berty Skuber, Philip Corner and later on Ay-O - see the newsletter for details.
oh well, back to work....
ho-hum
Monday, January 29, 2007
Alan Bowman Performance Texts
http://www.lulu.com/content/648185
Alan Bowman: Performance Texts 1998 – 2004 With additional texts from 2005 – 2006 Surviving performance/event scores produced by Alan Bowman/The Freeformfreakout Organisation in the period 1998 to 2004 with an addendum of alterations and additions to texts and additional texts from 2005/2006.
Alan Bowman: Performance Texts 1998 – 2004 With additional texts from 2005 – 2006 Surviving performance/event scores produced by Alan Bowman/The Freeformfreakout Organisation in the period 1998 to 2004 with an addendum of alterations and additions to texts and additional texts from 2005/2006.
A Biography of Sol Nte
http://www.lulu.com/content/650143
Born in 1873 to a family of immigrant Danish pastry farmers and the youngest of 11 siblings, expelled from the Robert Downey Junior School in Elton John's Wood,star of the Barber Surgeon's Hall dissection table and serious threat to the Turin Shroud, Sol Nte is quite possibly the world’s greatest living anagram of a waterway.
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
mump
We is concerned here in the Waugh/Bowman household for Nic fears she may have the 'Mump'. Not the mumps as suffered by many a poor child but the 'Mump'. For she has the soreness on but one side.
Those of us amongst the staff who have consulted the medical dictionary, when we recovered from the shock of the 'Mucus' pages are of the combined and informed opinion that she has a touch of the old sore throat.
The Hooligans were at home again today, Daniel with the fevers and Joseph with the raging snotters, both exhausted were also suffering from the 'getting up at six o'clock in the morning and jumping up and down on mammy and daddy's bed syndrome' i.e. a black humour, lack of appetite and the like.
I lost yet another day's work.
kids eh? can't live with 'em
can you?
;-)
Those of us amongst the staff who have consulted the medical dictionary, when we recovered from the shock of the 'Mucus' pages are of the combined and informed opinion that she has a touch of the old sore throat.
The Hooligans were at home again today, Daniel with the fevers and Joseph with the raging snotters, both exhausted were also suffering from the 'getting up at six o'clock in the morning and jumping up and down on mammy and daddy's bed syndrome' i.e. a black humour, lack of appetite and the like.
I lost yet another day's work.
kids eh? can't live with 'em
can you?
;-)
Saturday, December 02, 2006
new fluxus
Warning! The following has a boring factor rating of 110/100. Probably better if you just look for the link it talks about!
Being an admirer of and interested in Fluxus, in fact having got to know and even work with some of the artists involved, I kind of keep half an eye on what is going on. A member of Fluxlist since 1998 (now NeoFluxlist on Yahoo as our host server seems to have packed up its trouble in its old kit bag and buggered off), I have had the fortune to witness the antics of quiet a few Fluxus inspired contemporary artists.
One of the arguments or questions that often arises is 'just how do we define Fluxus?' both historical and contemporary and so far no one seems to have come up with an answer which suits all, probably for the best. This question often leads to heavy and dour discussions and diatribes over 'who is in the gang? who can be? what is/was the gang in the first place?' And while this is all very good and academic and stuff it often omits to include the humour Fluxus, which although may not actually be that relevant to the argument but is important to me! :-)
I have noticed a distinct lack of fun in a lot of contemporary Fluxus inspired works, lots of 'research' and experiment which I am very interested in. Allen Bukoff (allenbukoff.com) is a contemporary Fluxus inspired artist (despite shunning the whole scene, well for a brief period anyway ;-) ), whose works involve a great deal of wry humour and whose 'research' pieces may appear somewhat tongue in cheek but on closer inspection/reflection are a whole lot deeper. Inspired.
There are of course many contemporary Fluxus inspired artists who have a fantastic sense of humour, but which choose not to express this in their work.
Recently however I came across a site which really did make me laugh, it's not particulary Fluxus it's basically just a send up or a parody of some Fluxus artists. I suppose it's not really all that good but it really hit a spot.
Yogi Fu Maciunas' "Flux-Mess" a parody of the Flux Mass is quite near the mark and Henry Flinch's "An Essay on Exceptual Art" is rather naughty. I spent a good few weeks with Henry once, I don't suppose he'd appreciate the joke.
the site is at fluxuswaste.blogspot.com/ there's not a lot there but i'm kind of hoping that more stuff will turn up.
and i'm not completely convinced that allen bukoff is not involved...
Being an admirer of and interested in Fluxus, in fact having got to know and even work with some of the artists involved, I kind of keep half an eye on what is going on. A member of Fluxlist since 1998 (now NeoFluxlist on Yahoo as our host server seems to have packed up its trouble in its old kit bag and buggered off), I have had the fortune to witness the antics of quiet a few Fluxus inspired contemporary artists.
One of the arguments or questions that often arises is 'just how do we define Fluxus?' both historical and contemporary and so far no one seems to have come up with an answer which suits all, probably for the best. This question often leads to heavy and dour discussions and diatribes over 'who is in the gang? who can be? what is/was the gang in the first place?' And while this is all very good and academic and stuff it often omits to include the humour Fluxus, which although may not actually be that relevant to the argument but is important to me! :-)
I have noticed a distinct lack of fun in a lot of contemporary Fluxus inspired works, lots of 'research' and experiment which I am very interested in. Allen Bukoff (allenbukoff.com) is a contemporary Fluxus inspired artist (despite shunning the whole scene, well for a brief period anyway ;-) ), whose works involve a great deal of wry humour and whose 'research' pieces may appear somewhat tongue in cheek but on closer inspection/reflection are a whole lot deeper. Inspired.
There are of course many contemporary Fluxus inspired artists who have a fantastic sense of humour, but which choose not to express this in their work.
Recently however I came across a site which really did make me laugh, it's not particulary Fluxus it's basically just a send up or a parody of some Fluxus artists. I suppose it's not really all that good but it really hit a spot.
Yogi Fu Maciunas' "Flux-Mess" a parody of the Flux Mass is quite near the mark and Henry Flinch's "An Essay on Exceptual Art" is rather naughty. I spent a good few weeks with Henry once, I don't suppose he'd appreciate the joke.
the site is at fluxuswaste.blogspot.com/ there's not a lot there but i'm kind of hoping that more stuff will turn up.
and i'm not completely convinced that allen bukoff is not involved...
Friday, November 24, 2006
?
well then not a lot to report of late. all been a bit dull really.
venezia did win on sunday though, 5-0 against pro patria! who?
exactly!
but they were 4 good goals and a penalty, pretty exciting stuff really. almost got my voice back.
had a horrible cold
but it's gone.
almost finished the biography of Sol Nte, Stoke on Trent's startlingly trousered troubadour then i'm going to send a copy to Roger Stevens and Michael Leigh for editing.
as they have absolutely nothing better to do! (check their blogs!)
tra.....
venezia did win on sunday though, 5-0 against pro patria! who?
exactly!
but they were 4 good goals and a penalty, pretty exciting stuff really. almost got my voice back.
had a horrible cold
but it's gone.
almost finished the biography of Sol Nte, Stoke on Trent's startlingly trousered troubadour then i'm going to send a copy to Roger Stevens and Michael Leigh for editing.
as they have absolutely nothing better to do! (check their blogs!)
tra.....
Thursday, November 16, 2006
The Reversal of the Ex-Communication of Lord Listamovimenti Byron
the following is an extract from a document (as yet undated) found in the freeformfreakout organisation archives. unfortunately we have been unable to upload the images as our scanner is goosed. it appears to be an illustrated field report from a dig in the venetian lagoon - the following is what appears to be some background information which may shed some light on the actual finds:
The Reversal of the Ex-Communication of Lord Listamovimenti Byron
(The Impostor or Fake)
Archaeological Find from Saint Julian’s Isle
(The Impostor or Fake)
Archaeological Find from Saint Julian’s Isle
There is a legend which tells of a tale which relates the story of an enormous and preposterously opulent feast. A huge banquet, outrageous in both size, cost and the amount of quail used instead of hotdogs with the cheese and pineapple cocktail stick nibbles. The banquet is said to have taken place in Venice at the beginning of the height of the might of the Most Serene Republic, and is said to have involved so many guests that no calle or campo in Venice, not even Piazza San Marco was big enough to seat them all.
The banquet was in honour of the Reversal of the Ex-Communication of the Fake Lord Byron by Pope Gregory the Furred. Byron was originally ex-communicated for his blasphemous poetry, most notably the sonnet “Oh, So Called All-Seeing, All Knowing, All powerful One! If You’re so Great then Come On Have a Go! I Challenge You to a Yorkshire Shin-Kicking Competition, If You Can Find Me that is!”
Byron renounced his poem as an “Ill-informed and misguided work of nonsense by an ignorant and silly fool who had certainly seen the errors of his ways and who had every intention of returning to The Flock ay ess ay pee!” Byron had spent a god month or two in hospital after being found unconscious in an upturned beer barrel with severely bruised shins and a size thirteen Walkley’s ‘Foundryman’ Safety Clog miraculously wedged in a place which would ensure his avoidance of horseriding, cribbage and other sitting down based activities (like sitting down) for a goodly while.
So large indeed was the table required for the feast that a special pontoon bridge, funded by a special Black Jack Night at the Garibaldi Working Mens’ Club, had to be constructed out into the lagoon, stretching from Santa Croce almost to Punto San Giuliano or St. Julian’s Fiat.
Archaeological evidence leads us to believe that Pope Gregory, Henry Tudor, Lord Byron and in fact Marco Polo where sitting at the San Giuliano end and not at the ‘Venice’ end as previously thought. One theory being that the smell and noise from the bus station could have potentially triggered one of Pope Gregory’s migraines and therefore the potential flaying alive of any guest who was perhaps a little heavy handed with his spoon during the soup course. Doge Enrico Dandolo is thought to hat been sat at about one kilometre from the ‘Venice’ end, however a large margin of error must be considered probable to allow for the tide.
Giacomo Casanova, King Louis XIV of France, Quentin Crisp, Mary Magdalene and Martin Luther are thought to have occupied the foot of the table, the Santa Croce, or ‘Venice’ end. Studies of fossilised footprints found under platform three of the station point top the fact that a “right old time” was had by all in that particular company. Close scrutiny of the footprints show that apparently Casanova and Crisp coped considerably better when dancing in heels that King Louis or Mary Magdalene. Martin Luther, sat at that end for obvious reasons. (He still had a bag of nails from the Vatican True Relics of the Cross workshops that the Pope had lent him, unaware of what he wanted them for.) It is also interesting to note that Luther, although barefoot, appears to have danced a mean Tarantella.
Pope Simon, responsible for Byron’s ex-communication was not present on the count of the fact that;
a.) he wasn’t really all that popular in the Byron camp;
b.) the presence of two popes at the same dinner table may have been deemed as somewhat of a bad show, raising doubts over Papal Succession laws but not only that, questions would have bee asked about the economic and environmental issues linked to the creation of all that black and then white smoke, the endless lunches for the cardinals and the traditional end of election disco. The ‘two for the price of a nun’ drinks promotions were said to be responsible for a whole host of things, allegedly including two or three ‘immaculate conceptions’, still kept from the general Hail Mary paying public by Papal Dictate. Pope Simon’s election is purportedly the result of the fact that Cardinals Point and Synne used the white smoke producing wood to stoke up the Vatican oven just as someone else was asking whether “anyone fancied a beer while we look at the menu?”
c.) he’d been dead for 501 years, killed by divine intervention and a miraculous 6 dart finish.
Perhaps one of the most interesting facts about the archaeological finds is the fact that they were uncovered on an island which, if the truth be known, simply could not have existed at the time of the banquet. Standard and accepted previous archaeological finds point to the fact that the island was constructed by the Austrians at the time of their occupation of northern Italy and the construction of the rail bridge which still connect Europe to Venice. It just doesn’t point to where.
Excavations are expected to continue for as long as the wine lasts.
The banquet was in honour of the Reversal of the Ex-Communication of the Fake Lord Byron by Pope Gregory the Furred. Byron was originally ex-communicated for his blasphemous poetry, most notably the sonnet “Oh, So Called All-Seeing, All Knowing, All powerful One! If You’re so Great then Come On Have a Go! I Challenge You to a Yorkshire Shin-Kicking Competition, If You Can Find Me that is!”
Byron renounced his poem as an “Ill-informed and misguided work of nonsense by an ignorant and silly fool who had certainly seen the errors of his ways and who had every intention of returning to The Flock ay ess ay pee!” Byron had spent a god month or two in hospital after being found unconscious in an upturned beer barrel with severely bruised shins and a size thirteen Walkley’s ‘Foundryman’ Safety Clog miraculously wedged in a place which would ensure his avoidance of horseriding, cribbage and other sitting down based activities (like sitting down) for a goodly while.
So large indeed was the table required for the feast that a special pontoon bridge, funded by a special Black Jack Night at the Garibaldi Working Mens’ Club, had to be constructed out into the lagoon, stretching from Santa Croce almost to Punto San Giuliano or St. Julian’s Fiat.
Archaeological evidence leads us to believe that Pope Gregory, Henry Tudor, Lord Byron and in fact Marco Polo where sitting at the San Giuliano end and not at the ‘Venice’ end as previously thought. One theory being that the smell and noise from the bus station could have potentially triggered one of Pope Gregory’s migraines and therefore the potential flaying alive of any guest who was perhaps a little heavy handed with his spoon during the soup course. Doge Enrico Dandolo is thought to hat been sat at about one kilometre from the ‘Venice’ end, however a large margin of error must be considered probable to allow for the tide.
Giacomo Casanova, King Louis XIV of France, Quentin Crisp, Mary Magdalene and Martin Luther are thought to have occupied the foot of the table, the Santa Croce, or ‘Venice’ end. Studies of fossilised footprints found under platform three of the station point top the fact that a “right old time” was had by all in that particular company. Close scrutiny of the footprints show that apparently Casanova and Crisp coped considerably better when dancing in heels that King Louis or Mary Magdalene. Martin Luther, sat at that end for obvious reasons. (He still had a bag of nails from the Vatican True Relics of the Cross workshops that the Pope had lent him, unaware of what he wanted them for.) It is also interesting to note that Luther, although barefoot, appears to have danced a mean Tarantella.
Pope Simon, responsible for Byron’s ex-communication was not present on the count of the fact that;
a.) he wasn’t really all that popular in the Byron camp;
b.) the presence of two popes at the same dinner table may have been deemed as somewhat of a bad show, raising doubts over Papal Succession laws but not only that, questions would have bee asked about the economic and environmental issues linked to the creation of all that black and then white smoke, the endless lunches for the cardinals and the traditional end of election disco. The ‘two for the price of a nun’ drinks promotions were said to be responsible for a whole host of things, allegedly including two or three ‘immaculate conceptions’, still kept from the general Hail Mary paying public by Papal Dictate. Pope Simon’s election is purportedly the result of the fact that Cardinals Point and Synne used the white smoke producing wood to stoke up the Vatican oven just as someone else was asking whether “anyone fancied a beer while we look at the menu?”
c.) he’d been dead for 501 years, killed by divine intervention and a miraculous 6 dart finish.
Perhaps one of the most interesting facts about the archaeological finds is the fact that they were uncovered on an island which, if the truth be known, simply could not have existed at the time of the banquet. Standard and accepted previous archaeological finds point to the fact that the island was constructed by the Austrians at the time of their occupation of northern Italy and the construction of the rail bridge which still connect Europe to Venice. It just doesn’t point to where.
Excavations are expected to continue for as long as the wine lasts.
Monday, October 30, 2006
bleeargghh!
oh well it looks like it's that time of year again, all consuming apathy and inability to do anything creeps in.
at least i've got the football now, a season ticket for venezia - pride of serie c1!
yesterday we were away to cittadella and it was the worst game so far. BUT lunch was good, we found a trattoria near castelfranco veneto which specialised in grilling things on a huge fire in the middle of the restaurant. it was cheap and i ate too much and drank too much wine but the the ultra' were on form and the singing and insult hurling kept me awake.
today i'm just miserable
bleeeaarrgh!
at least i've got the football now, a season ticket for venezia - pride of serie c1!
yesterday we were away to cittadella and it was the worst game so far. BUT lunch was good, we found a trattoria near castelfranco veneto which specialised in grilling things on a huge fire in the middle of the restaurant. it was cheap and i ate too much and drank too much wine but the the ultra' were on form and the singing and insult hurling kept me awake.
today i'm just miserable
bleeeaarrgh!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
forza ragazzi!
Well what's new?
NOWT!!
Got a season ticket for SSC Venezia, stars of Serie C1, actually I got it as a present for my birthday. €55.00 with a free hat and flag! That's like one ticket for Newcastle if you can find one! It's a good laugh the match here though, I went to one once a while back, where the ball went over the stands and into the lagoon. The pre-match warm up is good too:
Spritz in Bar Vittoria here in Mestre then on the bus (or motorbikes) to Venice, down to the fist bar on the Strada Nuova for a seafood risotto, a polpetta/piece of squid/prawn skewer and some cheap red plonk....and so begins the tour of the bacari (little bars) until we get to Rialto, then a few bits and pieces "alla botte" (a bar with excellent polpette) then off down to near St Mark's Square aqnd the pile onto the vaporetto to Sant' Elena where the stadium is.
Stadium is used in the loosest possible way, pile of planks on scaffolding is nearer to the truth.
Then a quick drinky and off into 'la curva sud' - home of the various Ultras factions, most of whom spend most of the time smoking dope and trying to get everyone else to sing instead of watching the match. According to my scarf I am allied to the Rude Fans, so I'd better watch where I stand. Rude Fans! We stick our tongues out at the opposition and never say pardon me when we burp....
Tomorrow it's Venezia vs Pistoiese
pics from venezia - padova (boo!)
NOWT!!
Got a season ticket for SSC Venezia, stars of Serie C1, actually I got it as a present for my birthday. €55.00 with a free hat and flag! That's like one ticket for Newcastle if you can find one! It's a good laugh the match here though, I went to one once a while back, where the ball went over the stands and into the lagoon. The pre-match warm up is good too:
Spritz in Bar Vittoria here in Mestre then on the bus (or motorbikes) to Venice, down to the fist bar on the Strada Nuova for a seafood risotto, a polpetta/piece of squid/prawn skewer and some cheap red plonk....and so begins the tour of the bacari (little bars) until we get to Rialto, then a few bits and pieces "alla botte" (a bar with excellent polpette) then off down to near St Mark's Square aqnd the pile onto the vaporetto to Sant' Elena where the stadium is.
Stadium is used in the loosest possible way, pile of planks on scaffolding is nearer to the truth.
Then a quick drinky and off into 'la curva sud' - home of the various Ultras factions, most of whom spend most of the time smoking dope and trying to get everyone else to sing instead of watching the match. According to my scarf I am allied to the Rude Fans, so I'd better watch where I stand. Rude Fans! We stick our tongues out at the opposition and never say pardon me when we burp....
Tomorrow it's Venezia vs Pistoiese
pics from venezia - padova (boo!)
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
a pea bird ear to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me-eeeee
happy birthday to me
40 today :-|
the rotten buggers at work put balloons up on the front door so now all the kids and parents know. stil my little lot in class 5 brought in some cakes and pop so we had a party instead of maths.
which is only right i would say!
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me-eeeee
happy birthday to me
40 today :-|
the rotten buggers at work put balloons up on the front door so now all the kids and parents know. stil my little lot in class 5 brought in some cakes and pop so we had a party instead of maths.
which is only right i would say!
Saturday, September 23, 2006
me seat ali aarrrggh"
it's a friday night and we've been watching 'miss italia' for what seems like three days now. sylvester stallone is the guest of honour and he looks like he is melting. it's been on since tea-time and now it's 23:50 and the poor bugger's been there with his translator the whole time, money for old rope her job mind you - "amo gli animali" - 'i love animals'; "voglio lavorare con bambini" - 'i want to work with children'; "volevo sposarmi con un giocatore della juve ma sono nella seria b adesso, quindi ho cambiato idea...ma vieri e' ancora single?" - 'i love animals'. only 3 phrases to translate.
hang on! hang on! all the lasses who've been elimated so far (24,376) are line dancing to a c&w remix\of "staying alive" - oh how i love italy!!!
well, i'm supposed to be working on the biography of stoke's greatest living anagram of a body of water but i've just been a bit distracted.
kind of hammered a bottle of valpolicella (zonin) - a cheap but pretty damn fine slurp from the coop, one of my favourites at the moment at about 4 euro it tastes much more expensive. at the moment i am supping a sangiovese di romagna, superiore, from the terre cevico stable. it too is a damn fine plonk and was in fact surprisingly strong enough of flavour to frollow the valpolicella. must dash, they're going to choose the winner of miss italia - oh the politically incorrectness of it all, the bikinis, the sheer fabric of the 'evening wear' - i reckon they put the air-conditioning on for two specific reasons.....
nope, wrong it was just an advert break.
been listening to a lot of ska recently, stuff from the late 70's early 80's, especially the selecter and the specials and earlier stuff like the skatalites and the old trojan record stable lot. 'train to skaville' by the ethiopians is getting worn out here followed by the same song done live by the selecter, in fact my new lose the belly regime seems to consist of moonstomping and skanking around the house whilst tidying up, doing the ironing and the like. building those shelves today wasn't easy mind and i had to put a bit of willard grant conspiracy on to ease the sweating. oh! and "it mek" by desmond\dekker is pretty good to peel potatoes to as well.
they made stallone act out the "adrienne!!" scene from rocky with one of the contestants - she was better than him!
hang on! hang on! all the lasses who've been elimated so far (24,376) are line dancing to a c&w remix\of "staying alive" - oh how i love italy!!!
well, i'm supposed to be working on the biography of stoke's greatest living anagram of a body of water but i've just been a bit distracted.
kind of hammered a bottle of valpolicella (zonin) - a cheap but pretty damn fine slurp from the coop, one of my favourites at the moment at about 4 euro it tastes much more expensive. at the moment i am supping a sangiovese di romagna, superiore, from the terre cevico stable. it too is a damn fine plonk and was in fact surprisingly strong enough of flavour to frollow the valpolicella. must dash, they're going to choose the winner of miss italia - oh the politically incorrectness of it all, the bikinis, the sheer fabric of the 'evening wear' - i reckon they put the air-conditioning on for two specific reasons.....
nope, wrong it was just an advert break.
been listening to a lot of ska recently, stuff from the late 70's early 80's, especially the selecter and the specials and earlier stuff like the skatalites and the old trojan record stable lot. 'train to skaville' by the ethiopians is getting worn out here followed by the same song done live by the selecter, in fact my new lose the belly regime seems to consist of moonstomping and skanking around the house whilst tidying up, doing the ironing and the like. building those shelves today wasn't easy mind and i had to put a bit of willard grant conspiracy on to ease the sweating. oh! and "it mek" by desmond\dekker is pretty good to peel potatoes to as well.
they made stallone act out the "adrienne!!" scene from rocky with one of the contestants - she was better than him!
Thursday, September 14, 2006
Eggbert Spoonbender.
Eggbert Spoonbender,
King of Teeth.
His interchangeable knee-boots
Made of jelied beef,
With his gargling chicken shirt
And fried egg mobile phone,
He's coming to a street near you.
Make sure your not at home.
Written as an example to Class 5 when they wher Class 4.
King of Teeth.
His interchangeable knee-boots
Made of jelied beef,
With his gargling chicken shirt
And fried egg mobile phone,
He's coming to a street near you.
Make sure your not at home.
Written as an example to Class 5 when they wher Class 4.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
back, front and sideways from the jollydaze
well dear reader,
the summer holiday is almost over and it's nearly time to go back to the grind. i've been off work since the end of june and i'm having difficulty remembering just what my job is! "but what has he been up to all that time?" i hear you say , followed by "my god his hearing's good!" then "and his imagination" then "hang on, i didn't think that!" and then "..or that! but my word i have in fact just thought all of that, and as i read i find that i am in fact thinking exactly what is written upon the screen. uncanny! the lad must have someof the magick powers about him, a touch of the ol' aleister crowley, or perhaps even the great doris 'i have a john coming through, is there a john in the hall' stokes."
and all of that is true.
interesting though, isn't it? how you never hear from doris stokes any more now that she's dead. you would have thought there would have been no stopping her popping across to fill us in on the goings on in limbo. (just try and explain that grammar to an italian doctor who insists on knowing the correct names for the grammatical elements before even trying to understand what is actually being said.) that part in brackets is of course optional.
so what have i been up to then? you know i have no idea! went to gateshead, home of the now defunct Isaac Tucker &Sons brewery. Isaac was me mam's great, great granda or something. in gateshead i met the startlingly trousered concrete poet of the potteries - monsieur sol nte. amazingly flexible for someone made of concrete i thought.
best thing i've seen in years - a very polite, if not a little timid too, gallery assistant at the BALTIC centre for contemporary arts (gateshead) trying to ram a motorcycle crash helmet onto sol's be-dreadlocked bonce and them him taking off slowly and unsteadily to do three laps of the gallery space on a tiny, mini-motorbike. i think i actually guffawed, and i thought that only victorian gentlemen did that.
what else? shaved all my hair off, drank a lot of whisky, got conjunctavitis, bought an new shirt, some new dr martens and some braces a shed load of cds and a computer game. yes a game! was sick of doing little and worrying about the fact that i thought that i'd might as well doing nothing constructively and in a way that the act of doing nothing and wasting my time actually took my mind off the fact that i was in fact doing nothing and wasting my time.
been listening to a lot of old ska from the 60's and the late 70's - i'd forgotten just how much i really like it and that to has helped take my mind off the fact that i have reached a bit of a sticky bit in the biopgraphy of sol nte (which is brilliant in parts!) in fact here are the last lines:
“And the others we make by carefully cutting out pictures from the Weekly Kebab and Curry Courier and making colour photocopies of them.”
see what i mean? well perhaps not. but i haven't written anything for weeks, i keep having ideas but never get around to fleshing them out. i'm on page 50 (A5 pages) and intend to send the whole thing to roger stevens for editing. seeing as how all he does is shuffle around in his BHS plaid slippers, sucking on a clay pipe, reciting humorous verse and rushing to do the vacuuming and wash the dishes before Jill gets in from work i reckon he'd be perfect. i suppose i should ask him first though....naaaaa! (hello roger !)
"...Ken’s wife Phyllis as she looked up to see a large woolly devotional candle which seemed to be trying to steal a falafel, encouraged by a priest; another scream from Sol as he realised that that stray spark theory has in fact a solid foundation; another scream from Phyllis as she realised that that wasn’t a falafel...
I'm having trouble keeping him out of prison.
I did spent nigh on 2 months working with Alison Knowles which was wonderful, but i've written about that...Oh i spent some time with mark bloch recently, we had an amble around venice together - very nice chappie. but what else? spent a lot of time playing with the hooligans who turned 2 on the 13th august. they had a great time in england. CARPETS! they have no fear and like jumping off high things.
well the hangover is hanging on...
over and out of it
"“What the hell am I going to do with a shiny lasagne?” he asked Hector Singh, head chef. Singh wasn’t really Hector’s surname, it was Sows but he thought that Singh sounded better, considering."
the summer holiday is almost over and it's nearly time to go back to the grind. i've been off work since the end of june and i'm having difficulty remembering just what my job is! "but what has he been up to all that time?" i hear you say , followed by "my god his hearing's good!" then "and his imagination" then "hang on, i didn't think that!" and then "..or that! but my word i have in fact just thought all of that, and as i read i find that i am in fact thinking exactly what is written upon the screen. uncanny! the lad must have someof the magick powers about him, a touch of the ol' aleister crowley, or perhaps even the great doris 'i have a john coming through, is there a john in the hall' stokes."
and all of that is true.
interesting though, isn't it? how you never hear from doris stokes any more now that she's dead. you would have thought there would have been no stopping her popping across to fill us in on the goings on in limbo. (just try and explain that grammar to an italian doctor who insists on knowing the correct names for the grammatical elements before even trying to understand what is actually being said.) that part in brackets is of course optional.
so what have i been up to then? you know i have no idea! went to gateshead, home of the now defunct Isaac Tucker &Sons brewery. Isaac was me mam's great, great granda or something. in gateshead i met the startlingly trousered concrete poet of the potteries - monsieur sol nte. amazingly flexible for someone made of concrete i thought.
best thing i've seen in years - a very polite, if not a little timid too, gallery assistant at the BALTIC centre for contemporary arts (gateshead) trying to ram a motorcycle crash helmet onto sol's be-dreadlocked bonce and them him taking off slowly and unsteadily to do three laps of the gallery space on a tiny, mini-motorbike. i think i actually guffawed, and i thought that only victorian gentlemen did that.
what else? shaved all my hair off, drank a lot of whisky, got conjunctavitis, bought an new shirt, some new dr martens and some braces a shed load of cds and a computer game. yes a game! was sick of doing little and worrying about the fact that i thought that i'd might as well doing nothing constructively and in a way that the act of doing nothing and wasting my time actually took my mind off the fact that i was in fact doing nothing and wasting my time.
been listening to a lot of old ska from the 60's and the late 70's - i'd forgotten just how much i really like it and that to has helped take my mind off the fact that i have reached a bit of a sticky bit in the biopgraphy of sol nte (which is brilliant in parts!) in fact here are the last lines:
“And the others we make by carefully cutting out pictures from the Weekly Kebab and Curry Courier and making colour photocopies of them.”
see what i mean? well perhaps not. but i haven't written anything for weeks, i keep having ideas but never get around to fleshing them out. i'm on page 50 (A5 pages) and intend to send the whole thing to roger stevens for editing. seeing as how all he does is shuffle around in his BHS plaid slippers, sucking on a clay pipe, reciting humorous verse and rushing to do the vacuuming and wash the dishes before Jill gets in from work i reckon he'd be perfect. i suppose i should ask him first though....naaaaa! (hello roger !)
"...Ken’s wife Phyllis as she looked up to see a large woolly devotional candle which seemed to be trying to steal a falafel, encouraged by a priest; another scream from Sol as he realised that that stray spark theory has in fact a solid foundation; another scream from Phyllis as she realised that that wasn’t a falafel...
I'm having trouble keeping him out of prison.
I did spent nigh on 2 months working with Alison Knowles which was wonderful, but i've written about that...Oh i spent some time with mark bloch recently, we had an amble around venice together - very nice chappie. but what else? spent a lot of time playing with the hooligans who turned 2 on the 13th august. they had a great time in england. CARPETS! they have no fear and like jumping off high things.
well the hangover is hanging on...
over and out of it
"“What the hell am I going to do with a shiny lasagne?” he asked Hector Singh, head chef. Singh wasn’t really Hector’s surname, it was Sows but he thought that Singh sounded better, considering."
Sunday, August 13, 2006
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